What's In My Locket?

My Mother’s Day gift came early this year! 

Lockets. I love them. I am almost always wearing one. I have one I inherited from my Gramma with a photo of each of them when they began dating. I also have a few aromatherapy lockets that I rotate through.

I think what I love about photo lockets is how they are so uniquely personal and sentimental, but also a bit mysterious. Not many people will ask to see what you feel is so important you want to carry it close to your heart. It’s a way of keeping those treasured people or things with you throughout the day. Each time you see it (or if you are like me, play with the clasp), you think of what is inside that locket. It’s a way for me to have a little moment of mindfulness in a typically hectic day.  

When I was contacted about the Monica Rich Kosann collection, I just about fainted. They are STUNNING. Exactly the piece of jewelry I would cross my fingers for when opening up a gift. The pieces are unique and gorgeous, and I love that they come with a long chain, as I love to wear my necklaces long. This locket is a piece of jewelry I know will be handed down just as my Gramma’s locket was.

What I think really stands out in this collection is that Monica began as a photographer. Her eye for design and aesthetics is obvious, but it comes from a place of function. She has designed the pieces to hold my favourite photos, not just a pretty necklace. The most unique thing about this locket is that you can go to the website and upload your photo into the template which is specific to your locket, and print it out immediately. You don’t have to fumble through resizing and cropping, or order an expensive custom print. This also means it’s easy to change up the photo when you get a new favourite. 

This is my ideal Mother’s Day gift, because I will let you in on the little secret of what’s in my locket: my boys and my darling husband. But I bet you never would have guessed that. They did just edge out a giant cup of coffee though. It was a close call. Basically if you ask me what I want for Mother’s Day (because that is totally something you would ask, right? RIGHT?) I would tell you the following: something nice that I would never buy for myself (check!), a giant cup of coffee and an hour to browse in Chapters alone without having to visit the train table. 

I have great news for my fellow Canucks, who so often get let down once we go to our online cart and see the shipping is more than the product: Monica Rich Kosann offers free priority shipping on all orders to Canada. Not only that, but if you are local to Calgary, they also sell her collection at Rubayait on 17th Ave if you want to see them in person first! 

**Disclaimer: I received this necklace in exchange for a review, but all thoughts and opinions are my own (as always!) and I genuinely am in love with this product. I mean, who wouldn’t be?? 

Learning to Crochet in the Mountains

I have done the impossible! I have become crafty!

A few of my blogger friends (and by a few, I mean 14 of us…) decided we needed a weekend away. An epic girls trip in the mountains where the only thing we had to worry about was where to eat and which pjs to bring.

Our view from the room at Big Horn Meadows. It looked like a painting!

Now, when I say epic girls trip it may bring about different connotations than the reality. This was the type of girls trip where we shopped at the thrift shop, ate at the local café, ordered pizza, watched Pitch Perfect 2 and crocheted. That’s right, we crocheted.

One of my dear friends happens to be a very talented crocheter (is that a word? Spellcheck says it is not. What do you call people who crochet?!) and she was crazy enough to volunteer to teach me. I will tell you, it started off very rocky. Somehow I managed to keep adding stitches upon stitches when I should have been keeping them the same. It is a mystery. HOWEVER, it did eventually get easier, and I managed to make this amazing little hat.



It turns out I find it very relaxing and therapeutic and so now I am attempting to make a blanket. Erin has tons of easy and awesome patterns on her blog (www.mrsbrits.blogspot.com) if you want to check them out!

Why on earth did I not turn my phone around for this pic? Because I was too cozy and chill, it's my only excuse.  

In Radium we were so fortunate to be hosted by Big Horn Meadows Resort. This is not just a clever name; there was  actually a herd of Big Horn sheep that wandered around the grounds the entire weekend we were there. Hello guys!!

The rooms were awesome. They were 3 bedroom units, and were spacious and gorgeous and cozy. They would be perfect if we took the kiddos out to Radium with us, as they could have their own little room, and we could still hang out in the living area and kitchen and not worry about keeping them up. The rooms were so large they fit 14 of us comfortably in the living room/dining room area and we were even able to do yoga on Sunday morning! So perfect.

This may be the only time you will see a photo of me without my trusty glasses. 

Nothing refills your batteries like a weekend in the mountains. I honestly cannot recommend it highly enough. We of course went to the Radium Hot Springs for a soak, and also I went every single day to Kicking Horse Coffee headquarters. Because COFFEE.

So a huge thank you to Big Horn Meadows for hosting us crazy ladies! I can’t wait to go back. They also happen to have a special on to save 20% off room bookings for 2 nights (or longer, because you will not want to leave), so if you want to check them out just let them know you want the Blogger Discount. It's good until June 23, 2016, but it's not valid on long weekends. 

I'm a Good Mom

Ah, the week before New Year's. This is a time where I traditionally reflect on all the things I do wrong, and how I'm not going to do them wrong the next year. It's a time when I think of all the things I am NOT (not healthy, not good with money, not fit...) and how I am going to attempt to change all of those things starting January 1st. But this year I actually surprised myself. 
Being a mom is probably the largest part of my identity at this time of my life. And generally, since I have been thrust into that role, I have never felt like I excel at it. I always have felt that I am surviving; some days better than others, but surviving nonetheless. 

Good Moms definitely make sure to take Instagram Selfies. 

Despite all of the reassurances to the contrary from my husband, my family, my friends, my therapist, the internet, the piles of parenting books and my other parent friends, I still believed I wasn't doing a great job at being a mom. I was doing an adequate job; I was the world's okayest mom. 
But reflecting back on this year, I had the shocking realization that I don't really feel that way anymore. In fact, I think I'm doing a damn good job. Even if my kids watch too much Netflix, eat McDonald's, and are not fully potty trained. Even though I hate the park, I don't make cute little presents for preschool on holidays, and I often don't shower for more days in a row than is probably healthy. Even if sometimes I feel like I want to scream, and sometimes I do. Even if I need some precious alone time from my children, but then sneak into their rooms and risk waking them up just to get the goodnight kiss I missed. Now, when my children throw an epic tantrum in the middle of the grocery store and all eyes are looking at me and how I will deal with it, I know that no matter how it ends I AM A GOOD MOM. 
I am not perfect, but as someone once said to me: "if there was such a thing as a perfect mom, you would hate that person anyway". There is no need to be perfect, because what my kids need is me, crazy and all. All of those times I felt like I was barely surviving, and doing a horrible job at raising tiny humans, I was actually just being a great mom. Because that is what great moms do. 
I have told myself this countless times before this day, and never ever truly believed it. I would say it, and then think of all the things that I needed to fix about myself, to make me "a good mom". This doesn't mean that there isn't a bunch of things I can do better, because of course there is. But not doing them doesn't mean I am failing at all. That is a very freeing thought. 
So this new year, I will still start it off with wishing I was more healthy, more fit and better with money. But I will not be feeling horrible about the year I just gave to my children. I actually feel really proud of it, despite all the rough spots, because it means that I have been lucky enough to spend it with the people I love the most in all of the world, and I know that they (and I!) am better for it. 
So Happy New Year to all of the Great Moms reading this. I wish you another year of joy, tears, tantrums, messes and LOVE. 

Lazy Mom Fall Decorating Reveal

My front door area needs a lot of help. The door is just awful; full of marks and old stickers. I am desperate to replace the door with one with a window to let some light in because I have zero windows on the front of the house on my main floor. But replacing a door seems like a normal person DIY project, which means we are not capable AT ALL of doing it. So it will wait. 

So beautiful...

But it is a bit sad. I have a dead hanging basket hanging on the front and a generic black rubber mat that says "Welcome". That's it. I wanted to spruce my stoop (is it a stoop?) up for the fall season.  So here is the before photo:

See? It needs some help. There is a lot of space for really cute fall decor, and it has a lot of potential. So I did some decorating that fits into my busy lifestyle:

All Fall-ified

 Isn't it amazing? Here, I'll show you a side-by-side comparison just so you don't miss it. 

And here, my dear ones, is an example of setting small, achievable goals. You too can have a blog worthy front porch with minimal effort! Here is a handy tutorial: 

Step 1: Purchase pumpkin.

Step 2: Place pumpkin on step. 

Happy Fall Everyone! 

Hello...it's Me

Whoa. So normally I kind of hate the "sorry I haven't written" type posts, but considering the fact it's been about 2 years since my last post, I suppose there should be SOME sort of catchupiness happening here. 
So. It turns out blogging when you have 2 small boys is hard, yo. I mean, I had a lot of balls to juggle, and blogging seemed like the best one to drop. Because the other two were my boys (and that isn't a good thing, I am pretty sure we can all agree), or my ever-loving mind. I have managed to escape with that one somewhat intact, though it hasn't been without a struggle. 
Depression and anxiety are not great for my creative juices. I had opened my laptop many times and stared at the blank screen with my hands ready to type and literally nothing came to mind. It was almost like someone had deleted the writing program from my brain. I have not really written much of anything for 2 whole years, and that is pretty crappy. Because I do love to write, even if it is dumb little anecdotes. 
So, here we are. 2 years later. After therapy, and group therapy and medication and many, many, many tantrums (both from the kids and from me), and tears and laughter and joy and fun and sadness. We have made it through, and are at a point where I can put them in front of the TV to watch Penguins of Madagascar (I mean, how hilarious is Dave?!) and sneak upstairs to write this. Because the days of my children needing 140% of my time and attention are gone, and now they only need about 110%. So maybe I can use that -30% to concentrate on myself for about 20 minutes until someone needs something. I mean seriously, how many times a day can you hear the words "Mom, I'm STILL hungry!!"!?!  You are tiny little humans with stomachs the size of lemons*. I mean how much can you actually fit in there for crying out loud?? 
*please note, I have no idea what the actual size of a preschooler's stomach is. 

You know what? Parenting is hard. Being a person is also sometimes very hard. It's even harder to be a parent and also a person at the exact same time. I haven't got it mastered yet, but I am getting better at it. 
I'm sure it's been hard, in my absence, to not know what my thoughts were on (trying desperately to think of parenting issues that have happened in the last 2 years...) the Royal babies, celebrity baby names and *insert hot-button parenting issue here*, but I am sure you managed somehow. And thank you to all who wrote me a note to check in and see how I was doing, and to those who requested I start to write again. I am sure you will regret your decision soon enough. 
So here is where we are at now. Peanut (Finn) is turning 4 next week. New Baby (Q) is now 2.5 and Hubby and I are still basically the same, just with a few grey hairs. Also, Kitty is still alive and well (she is still not quite right in the head, but that is her normal, and we generally love her anyway). We moved into an awesome house last year where we finally feel completely at home. Despite my terrible past as a plant serial killer, I am trying my hand at growing some fruit and veggies in our gardens and not completely failing. So far my success rate is about 60%. The plants are being lulled into a sense of safety. I am still at home with my boys, which means I basically sit on my butt all day and watch Maury Povich (is that guy still on TV? Because Oprah isn't, right?) and eat bon-bons. 
So there we have it. When written down it sort of sounds like I haven't done much these last 2 years. Which is basically true, lets be honest. Sometimes just surviving is all the busy you can handle. 
Much love to you all. I've missed you, darlings.  xoxo

Why Leaving the House is The WORST

Ok. Upon reading the title of this post, you may assume it is because of my recent struggles with anxiety. But it's not. It's because of these 2 little angels: 

Sweet, right? Yep. They generally are. Until we have to leave the house. As if my sanity wasn't fragile enough, I also have to wage fullscale WAR in order to walk out the door. No matter how much strategy I employ, no matter how clever I think I am being in preparing hours in advance, I am always outwitted, outlasted and outplayed. I am the weakest link, there can ONLY BE ONE!!!! and it's not me. 
Let me explain.   Sometimes, we just have to leave the house. Maybe we have an appointment, maybe I'm crazy enough to think an outing would be nice, who knows. In any case, I have to be somewhere at some time. I try and start at least an hour before we have to leave, but this has proven to not be sufficient. I get them changed, which is like trying to wrangle an octopus into a ziplock bag, but twice. I eventually succeed, and then it is my turn to try and make myself presentable for the outside world. 
This is impossible. The oldest is running around and throwing toys and dumping puzzles and pushing his brother and chasing the cat and evil laughing while dumping a glass of milk on the carpet. The youngest is screaming and crying like I have abandoned him in the wilderness despite the fact that he is 2 feet away from me. If I have to go to the closet to get a sweater, he crawls after me with his head up screaming and wailing at the ceiling. The 10 minutes it takes me to get dressed and run a comb through my hair is the loudest and most chaotic 10 minutes that has ever existed in space and time. It never fails either. I can have a ton of well-timed activities planned, I can even resort to putting Thomas the Tank Engine on...it doesn't matter. None of this holds any power compared to the innate instinct to make mommy lose her ever-loving mind. 
This is usually the point where I start to really lose my composure. I shut down into a resigned zombie with no feelings on auto-pilot. I think it's a coping mechanism. "No Finn, don't hit your brother, Q, you are ok sweetheart, Mommy still loves you even though I am not physically touching you" while I smear eyeliner on and pull my greasy hair into a "messy bun" (understatement of the year). 
After this, the hunt for the boots/coats/hats/no-not-the-green-ones-the-blue-ones-mommy-mittens begins. This is where my adrenaline starts to kick in and I wake up out of the zombie-state and start to get into a state of panic. I have usually noticed that if we don't leave the house in exactly 5 minutes, we will once again be late. But of course this one boot cannot be found. How can it not be there?! It's always in the box with all of the stuff. Could it be in the closet? I have checked absolutely everywhere, including the places that is doesn't even make sense to look. Maybe it's behind the toilet in the bathroom?! Any attempt at recruiting help from the toddler is just enlisting him to run around yelling "where's my boot mom?"about 30 times. Eventually, with one minute until we have to leave I unearth the missing boot from underneath the couch in the basement (I have no blooming idea how it could have gotten there) and get it on. 
I put Q in his bucket seat and begin to buckle him in. Maybe I'm actually going to make it this time!! I can't even believe my luck...my hair is in disarray and I have non-matching socks on, but we may have actually done it. Just as I clip the last buckle, I hear the tell-tale rumble and know that it is not to be. Somehow the diaper which is designed for the specific purpose of not allowing everything to explode everywhere has failed, and it requires an entire change of wardrobe for the babe. Any chance we had at being semi-punctual is out the door (unlike us). 
Once we get that settled, we all head into the car, and I strap the toddler in, while he tries to escape so he can drive Francesco Bernoulli. Why my toddler thinks our tiny little Honda Fit is a Formula One Racecar from Cars 2, I have no idea. 
I finally sit in the car and heave a sigh of exhaustion. We haven't even pulled out of the garage and I am ready to go home. 
And this happens every.single.time. 
So THAT, my friends, is why leaving the house is the WORST (and also why I will be late every time we arrange to get together...sorry). 
#momlife

A Few of my Favourite Things

It's almost time for Christmas, so I thought I might share with you a couple of my favourite things, just in case you are still looking for something to put on your lists (or to snag in some great Boxing Day (week...month...??)  deals!)
The Nexus 7 Tablet

Up until very recently I had never owned a tablet. In fact, I had only used an iPad very briefly. I LOVE this tablet. It's nice and small, and the screen is incredible. It looks better than my TV! The sound is also pretty amazing. I don't even need to plug it into my speakers when I am listening to Songza (another one of my favourite things!). I also liked how easily it synced to my phone and automatically downloaded all my apps. Pretty slick. It would make a great e-reader due to it's size, but I still prefer reading on my non-backlit Kobo, as it's easier on the eyes. The only thing I'm not that crazy about on the tablet is the camera, but that's fine. I always think it looks funny when people take photos with their tablets anyway. ;) I always thought that tablets were sort of redundant for me, since I have a laptop and a phone, but it changed my mind. 



My moccasin slippers

I loooooove these slippers. I don't even know where they are from, as I got them as a gift from Hubby last Christmas. They are so warm and comfy, and I love that when I wear them I don't get cheerios and crumbs and all the other little treasures my boys leave all over the floor for me stuck to my feet. They take a beating and keep on cozying my feet. 









The Sodastream

I wasn't sure about the Sodastream. I hemmed and hawed about it for a long time. I mean, it seems like an awesome idea, but I'm a bit of a soda snob, especially when it comes to Cola. So I knew I wasn't going to use it much for making pop like Cola or Rootbeer. I didn't use it too much at first, but then I branched out and tried the other syrups they have, and the Kool-Aid syrup is my absolute favourite! I loooove bubbles, and that is the reason I drink so much pop. It's awesome to be able to control the level of syrup I use, as well as to add some bubbles to things like orange juice so I get that fizz fix but without adding calories or sugar. I also picked up some Torani syrup and make myself Italian Sodas as a treat every now and then. For those who like carbonated water, this is a must. It's so handy, and it was definitely something that grew on me. 


Dogeared Jewelry

If you haven't heard about Dogeared, please don't Google it, since you will probably fall in love. I adore their designs; so clean and simple and beautiful. I have coveted the Karma necklace for a few years now and finally decided to buy myself a little present and picked it up, as well as a bracelet. I love them and wear them every single day. I am pretty sure I want one of everything...hint hint Hubby!! ;) 




*Please note: I have received some items listed in this post for the purpose of review, however all opinions (as always!) are my own. 

THE most delicious Sticky Toffee Pudding

This recipe is the devil. It's basically the most delicious thing ever, and it's really easy to make. 

I was recently obsessed with the Sticky Toffee Pudding from President's Choice. Hubby got real sick of me thinking of things we needed from Superstore just so I could get my hands on more. It's seriously amazing. But I always think homemade is way better than store-bought. So if this stuff was so good, what would homemade sticky toffee pudding be like? It would have to be mind-blowing. 
As fate would have it, a friend of mine just so happened to post on Facebook that she thought that sticky toffee pudding was perhaps the most perfect dessert ever created. I shared with Sarah my love for the gooey stuff and I started on the lookout for a good recipe. There are many out there, but they all seemed a little intimidating, or missing the gooey factor (which is the best part). I wanted something that was easy to make and preferably not using ramekins, as I don't own any (gasp!). 
A few days later, Sarah says her mother-in-law is visiting from Scotland, and happens to have a recipe for sticky toffee pudding which is both easy and scrumptious. And let me tell you...that is an understatement. This is literally heaven in a bowl (or straight from the pan if you have no self-restraint like me). 
Many thanks to Ann and Sarah for bringing this into my life, although I'm not sure my waistline thanks you as much. Ha! 
So without further ado, I bring you

Oh mannnn...that sauce! Drool.

THE most delicious Sticky Toffee Pudding 
Sponge (cake)
1 cup sliced, chopped dates 1 tsp baking soda 1 1/4 cups of boiling water 1/3 cup unsalted butter, softened 1 cup of sugar 2 eggs at room temperature, beaten 1 1/2 cups of flour 2 1/4 tsps baking powder 1/2 tsp salt 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Toffee Sauce
1 1/4 cups dark brown sugar 1/2 cup unsalted butter 2/3 cup whipping cream 1 vanilla bean
Place dates and baking soda into a medium saucepan and pour the boiling water over them (mixture will foam up). Set the pan over medium heat and simmer for one minute. Take off the hear and leave to cool for 15 minutes. 
Preheat oven to 350F, and grease a 8" square baking dish. 
Place butter and sugar into a large mixing bowl and beat until light and fluffy. Gradually add eggs, beating well after each addition. Mix flour, baking powder and salt together, and gently stir into bowl with a spoon, followed by date mixture and vanilla extract. Stir until combined. Pour into greased baking dish and bake for 35 minutes until springy to the touch. 
While cake is baking, make the sauce. Place sugar, butter and cream into a medium saucepan and add a split vanilla bean. Heat gently until butter is melted, then bring to a boil and simmer for about 5 minutes until thickened and a rich toffee colour. Try not to eat the whole pan. 
When cake is done, spoon a little sauce over the sponge to coat the surface and return to the oven for 5 minutes. 
Remove from oven, cut into squares and pour hot sauce all over the sponge. Lick the plate. 

We Day 2013

I've been lucky enough to be a part of We Day for the last 2 years. This year when Telus asked me to be a guest to attend the event, I jumped at the chance. I was so excited to attend the actual event, and as I was able to bring a youth guest, I began trying to think of someone I knew in that age range. It turns out I don't know that many people between the ages of 8 and 18...who knew?! So when my husband suggested the daughter of his coworker, I thought it would be an awesome experience. After all, while I feel I am sort of hip and know a bit about pop culture, I have to be honest in saying I had to google a couple of the celebrity guests at We Day this year...shhhh...don't tell! 

Anyway, my hope was that in bringing Emily along I would be able to get a better idea of how We Day effects someone still in the prime of their young years. When I was Emily's age I was a true idealist, looking to change the world by buying tshirts to save the otters (remember There Otter Be A Law? NO? Just me?! Ahhhh well...). Sadly, I have lost a little bit of that shine since I've become older and a bit more jaded with life. So I was looking forward to catching the enthusiasm and really enjoying We Day in the way it was intended. 

I knew I was going to be very moved, and I was. But what really was inspirational for me was to see the entire stadium filled with young people, all inspired to make changes, no matter how small, in this world for the better. I know that if even 10 of those whom attended carry that forward into their life that this world is a better place. 

On the red carpet with Emily 

If you haven't heard of We Day, it's an event put on by Free the Children. Thanks to generous sponsors like Telus, the event is free for the youth to attend, but they have to earn their way through volunteering in the community and in the world at large. It's a full day of speakers, music, celebrity guests and inspiration. And one of the cool things they have introduced is an app called We365. It's a completely safe digital social space for youth to inspire each other, and bring the spirit of We Day with them into their lives. They can choose causes they identify with and complete challenges from small things like using a reusable coffee cup to larger ones like fundraising. And it can also track your volunteer hours for school projects, etc. It's basically the Facebook of Doing Good. My favourite part about it is that it is totally moderated and it is safe (i.e. you can only "friend" people you know in real life, no geo-tagging of posts for youth, etc). It's a great way to make these ideas real, and to have a tangible way of making changes in your everyday life. It may seem small, but you can see that hundreds of users are doing the same thing, and you can know that you are indeed making a difference. Love it! 
I can write a summary of the event for you, but I think I would rather have Emily tell you in her own words, as they are so perfect. It was such a pleasure tospend the day with such an amazing young woman, and I hope that the experience will remain with her for some time. Thanks Emily for helping me to get a little bit of that old shine back and for inspiring me. 

My experience at We Day is one that I will never forget; from all the inspirational speakers to getting to meet part of one of my favorite bands! When we first arrived at the Saddledome I wasn’t exactly sure what to expect since it was my first time going. All I knew was that I was excited to have the chance to get to see all the amazing people speak. My junior high had always been a big supporter of We Day so I had a general idea of what it was all about but I never imagined the impact it would have on me. 

We got to watch from one of Telus' private suites which was amazing and when we went to our seats there were swag bags waiting for us. Inside were many things including a bracelet that lit up every time you clapped. The idea behind it was that the light was a spark, and a single spark can grow to be so much more. They would get everyone to begin clapping together so that it would demonstrate how everything starts with an idea and eventually that idea can grow to be big and can change the world, like We Day itself. I loved the whole concept of the bracelets and it really got me thinking about how I too can change the world. 

There were many speakers including Spencer West, Martin Luther King the third, Magic Johnson and more! However I was really inspired by Amanda Lindhout. Her story had stood out to me. She was a lady who had always dreamed of travelling the world and going to see exotic places and when she became a journalist she got the opportunity. However her trip to Somalia had gone terribly wrong when she was kidnapped. She had been held captive for almost a year and was treated horribly. She was kept in a dark room and was only allowed to lay on her side. I had heard part of her story already as my mom had read her book she wrote, but I didn’t expect to be as affected by her speech as I was. I think she is an amazing person to go through that, manage to escape, then come back home and get back to living a normal life where she doesn’t always have to fear everything. I can’t imagine how hard the whole thing must have been for her. I think it is incredible that she can take her story and use it to inspire people like she did me. 

Meeting Nelly Furtado. She's even more gorgeous in person, and she is so passionate about Free the Children. Amazing. 

I also really liked the Kenyan boy’s choir! Not only did we get to see them perform with Nelly Furtado and Shawn Desman on stage, but we got to see them perform at the press conference too! They were really fun to listen to and each performance was really energetic! The press conference was also a really neat experience. Nelly Furtado and Craig Kielburger also spoke at the press conference and it was cool how we got to get a kind of inside look into the show before it had started. 

One of my favorite parts of We Day aside from the inspirational parts was the red carpet. We got to meet Shawn Desman, Kardinal Offishal and Down With Webster! I have to admit I was pretty star struck especially when Down With Webster came. I am a huge fan of Down With Webster and it was crazy that I got to meet them! Anyway, each group got to ask each of them questions and I was pretty impressed with many of the answers especially Kardinal Offishal. In one of his answers he had compared his view of the world to glasses. He had said that it was like when you have a pair of glasses and you think you see everything perfectly well but then you go and get your vision checked and realize you need new glasses and when you get those new glasses then you truly see the world clearly. I thought that was a really good analogy and it really got me thinking about what I’m missing in the world that I could help with. 

At the end of the day I was sad that it was over but grateful to have gotten the experience. I decided I would download the app “We Day 365” so that I could make a difference. It is an app that gives you little challenges that can help make a difference in the world. You get to choose what causes you want to support and from there they give you tasks that can help with that issue. They aren’t big tasks but they can be little things that help. For example, if you follow the cause of bullying, then maybe it’ll tell you to give random people compliments or something like that. I think the app is a great idea and I think that the tasks no matter small do make a difference in the world whether it’s helping just one person or many. 

Emily with Down With Webster. Pretty epic. 

We Day was an incredible experience that I will never forget and I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I am so grateful to have gotten the experience to go and it definitely had an impact on me. Since We Day I have been looking for more things I can do to help with anything and everything! If you ever get the chance to go to We Day I suggest you take it because you won’t regret it and you will leave with the experience of a lifetime and the want to go and change the world. 

If I look through my “We Day glasses” I can see acts of kindness everywhere just like the act of kindness Amy showed by inviting a stranger –me--  to experience the life changing event filled with the energy of many great people all joined together to celebrate the changes that WE can make in the world. 

Ok, I fan-girled a little meeting Kardinal Offishall. 

Thank you soooooooo much once again for the opportunity Amy! I can’t thank you enough times for the experience it truly was amazing and I will never forget it!

Homemade Pumpkin Spice Lattes & Pumpkin Zucchini Muffins

It's fall, which means it's that time of year to PUMPKIN ALL THE THINGS!!!!!

I have to admit I'm a late convert to the pumpkin craze. I actually don't like pumpkin pie (gasp!!) so I was pretty reluctant to think I would enjoy pumpkiny goodness in every single incarnation. Turns out it's actually really yummy! 
If you know me at all, you know I am pretty addicted to Starbucks; I love their Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I have tried for a few years now to recreate a similar coffee at home, and have tried everything from syrup to creamer recipes. None have ever really made the cut. Most of the time they are either really sweet, or they have a pretty gritty texture which I'm not a fan of. But I have finally found it! This latte tastes pumpkin-y and spicy and coffee-y...just right. 
And because you can't have a cup of coffee without a treat, I also whipped up some pumpkin zucchini muffins to go with them. I don't like zucchini at all, actually, but for some reason it tastes delicious in baked goods. So it seemed natural to toss some pumpkin in there too and make a fall pumpkin explosion. They are super moist and tender, and since they have 2 types of veggies in them, I feel like they are basically a health food. It would be easy to "healthify" this recipe a bit by subbing some whole wheat flour for the white, and reducing the sugar a bit, but I like em just like this. 
Enjoy!
 

Homemade Pumpkin Spice Lattes

Place 2 1/4 cups of milk in a saucepan. Whisk in 3 Tbsps of pumpkin puree, 3 Tbsps of white sugar, 1 Tbsp of vanilla and 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice. Bring to a simmer. Add in 2 shots of espresso (I use my Tassimo for that) or 1/2 cup of strong coffee (to your taste). Pour into a mug and top with whipped cream and a dash of pumpkin pie spice. 
I didn't find the texture too gritty, but run it through a fine sieve or some cheesecloth first if desired. 
If you have a bit leftover, but it's not enough for a full cup, it's also delicious if you add a little bit to your regular latte or coffee. Yum yum!
adapted from Food Network Magazine

Pumpkin Zucchini Muffins
2 cups of flour 2 tsps baking soda 1 tsp baking powder 3/4 tsp salt 2 tsps cinnamon 1 1/2 tsps ground nutmeg
1/2 cup butter, room temperature 1 cup zucchini, grated 3/4 cup white sugar 3/4 cup brown sugar 2 eggs 1 cup pumpkin puree 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp fresh grated ginger (or 1 tsp ground ginger)
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and spices in bowl. Set aside. Cream butter and sugars for about 5 minutes until creamy and well incorporated. Add in eggs and combine well. Add vanilla, ginger and pumpkin and combine. Add zucchini and stir until mixed. Slowly add flour mix and stir until combined. 
Scoop batter into muffin pan (I use a silicone one so they just pop right out...they are amazing!) until almost full. Top with some cinnamon sugar if desired. Bake in a 325 degree oven for 20-25 mins until toothpick comes out clean. 

Kidoodle TV

Peanut has now discovered the magic of TV...it was inevitable I suppose. We don't watch too much of it, but he certainly is captivated by it! 
I just wanted to share something cool with you that I am looking forward to trying out. It's called Kidoodle TV. They are currently looking for testers to try their beta version for free to give them some honest feedback and test it out before they launch! You can head over to http://kidoodle.tv to check it out. 
I am looking forward to trying it out! I think it would be ideal for tablet users, which unfortunately we don't own...gasp! I know...how can I be tablet-less in this world?! I don't know myself.  But it looks like it is a secure program; once you are in you are in, so the kiddos can't escape and refill your Starbucks card with $100 (this actually almost happened on my phone...even Peanut knows my Starbucks love, I guess!).  Plus you have total control over the content (so the last episode of Orange is the New Black we just watched isn't going to be accidentally played. Yikes!) and can even set time limits. 
Anyway, you know I love a good deal, and free is a good deal. Had to pass it on! :)

*Please note, this isn't a sponsored post. I have not received any compensation for this post in any form, and all opinions, as always, are my own. Thanks! 

I'm Struggling

I'm not sure where I want to go with this post, I only know that I am just going to sort of vomit it out through my fingers on the keyboard. It's probably not going to be pretty, or all that funny. What I do hope is that it is honest, and not too self-indulgent. So bear with me.  I am struggling a lot lately. As you have probably noticed, I haven't been writing much. This is because, for the most part, I am a lazy blogger. I am attempting to juggle quite a few balls, and it turns out I'm not the best at juggling. Blogging is the ball that seems to drop first.  It's not that I am having a lot of difficulties. I'm just struggling with the every day life that all of us lead. I have 2 boys taking up most of my energy, and so I sort of feel like my energy reserves have been depleted, and I just don't have the motivation or the desire to expend it on anything else. My house is usually a disaster, and I feel like I am not even doing that wonderful a job at parenting. Peanut is so independent that a lot of the time I am checking Facebook or making dinner or a myriad of other things that make me feel a bit like an absent parent. I am there but not THERE, you know?  This is not meant to be a pity post about how I am not the Pinterest mom with the organized house, adorable outfits and perfect kiddos. We all know that is all just for show and people don't actually live like that...or if they do then they must be some sort of superhuman and/or bionic robot. I just mean to say that I am pretty sure that I am not doing my best. I think I am doing a decent job, but I know I could be doing better.  So I am struggling to parent in the present moment.  I am also struggling with my self-image. I treat my body pretty badly. I eat terribly, and very rarely am active at all. Then I feel pretty horrible when I still look pregnant with my mommy pooch. Logically I know that none of my self-worth is tied up in my appearance, and that I am most likely my harshest critic. The feminist in me rebels against wanting to look cute in this season's fashions and putting so much emphasis on my physical appearance...but this isn't logical at all. It's a purely emotional and irrational desire, and I'm struggling. I'm struggling to get the motivation to go to a yoga class. A class I know will make me feel 10000 times better, but then I would have to get dressed, and organized and head out. It's easier, so much easier, to stay home in my yoga pants and lounge on the couch eating DinoSours (not that I'm doing that RIGHT NOW or anything...noooooo....).  So I am struggling to accept my body as it is.  I'm struggling to keep my anxiety at bay. I haven't really shared much, but I struggle a bit with anxiety and depression in my life. I am on top of it for the most part, but some days are harder than others. I have yet to leave the house with both kids to go to the grocery store. It's been 5 months. I get my husband to get the groceries or go later when he's home. I am positive that if I go both kids will have a huge meltdown and all those shoppers will turn and look at me, and give me the evil eye and judge me to be a horrible mom. A horrible mom with annoying kids who just won't shut up. In my head I know this is not likely, and if it is, then screw 'em. But it's not a logical thing, anxiety. It's a crazy thing. A hard-to-control thing that sometimes gets the best of you.  So I am struggling to stop worrying about the past and the future and just live in the moment.  I am struggling with finances. Money is tight. I also realize this is not something many people talk about, and that I am probably breaking a million and one societal rules of etiquette by saying it. But it's true, and it's on my mind, and this post is about me writing what I am thinking without editing myself. So there it is: money is tight. It's a constant struggle, and I hate that so much of our happiness and stress levels rely on our bank account. I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but goodness is it ever hard to be happy without it. I would love to have many awesome things and go many awesome places like so many others, but we can't. I am not bitter about that, as it's our choice. I know how lucky we are to have what we do, and to have the lifestyle we have. But I just wish we were better at managing our finances so that it wasn't an issue. Because that is what it boils down to: we aren't good with money management at the moment. I am hoping we change this soon.  So I am struggling to be more financially responsible.  And I am struggling with this blog. Inspiration is hard to find lately, I won't lie. And even when I do have an idea, I usually choose watching TV over putting the work in here.  So there it is. Reading back over this post, I realize that most of my struggles are emerging from not living in the now. I don't expect to solve all of this. Parenting, marriage, life itself...it's hard work. And sometimes when you live in Internet-land so much you get bombarded with posts and pictures and you start to think "Am I the only one who sucks at all this?". You aren't. And maybe you don't think that, but I do every now and then. So this post is what came from all of those thoughts bouncing around in my head. It doesn't really have much of a point I guess, but I felt like maybe being honest with the random void of the internet would maybe help in some way.  So there you go, Random Internet Vortex. I give to you: my thoughts. Do with it what you will. 

My Favourite Nursing Must-Haves

I thought I would share with you my favourite nursing products. If you are a nursing mama, you know you spend quite a bit of time in the act of nursing your little(s). And there are a few products out there that make that job a little easier for me. 
By the way, this isn't a sponsored post, it's all products I purchase myself, I just thought I would share the awesomeness!

one. two. three. four. 

1. Bamboobies Nursing Pads
 Luckily, I haven't been as leaky this time around, but it's so unpredictable that I always wear them. Because the one time I don't wear them, I leak all over and have to pop into a store in the mall to purchase a scarf which I creatively drape to hide the giant wet spot on my shirt. Not that that has happened or anything. Please note: this actually happened. 

So my favourite pads are Bamboobies. They are amazing. They are supersoft, which is a plus (I hate the scratchy disposable ones!), as well as incredibly thin. The thinness is the absolute best feature, along with their unique heart shape. Those 2 things combined mean you don't get that super-obvious nursing pad ridge that shouts "HEY! I'M WEARING NURSING PADS!!". Very attractive...ugh. And they have never leaked on me, despite how thin they are. They have a milk-proof backing on them. Love them!
Ummm...you don't get a pic of me wearing them. Sorry. I am sure you are super upset...ahem. But you can trust they are being well-used in each of these photos. 
2. Undercover Mama
 I wish I would have got this nursing tank the first time around. Instead I purchased a bunch of cheap shirts that I could easily nurse in, but didn't necessarily look that great. This time I grabbed one of these Undercover Mamas, and my life was changed. It's basically just a strapless tank top that you can attach to any of your nursing bras. So, you throw this puppy on underneath any shirt and it's instantly a nursing shirt; you can pull up your top shirt without exposing your tummy. And that is my biggest uncomfortableness about nursing...I don't really care if I flash a little boob by accident, but tummy? Horrors! The other thing I love about it is it's just tight enough to add a little bit of slimming action. So I can wear all my regular shirts without having to worry about easy nursing access. Life-changer. I wish I could grab them in every colour. 
3. InfinityMOM

I prefer to cover when I'm nursing in public for my own comfort level. Last time I used a nursing cover, but I have to say it's kind of annoying fighting with it all the time. So when I heard about this next product, I rushed out to the store to buy it. InfinityMOM is an infinity scarf, but nice and wide so you can use it as a nursing cover when you need it. I bought one in teal chevron. Sooo cute! I love it. It's awesome because it's a great accessory, but also functional. And there is a lot less fabric so you don't have to fight with it. Plus it's made out of cotton (feels like a t-shirt) so it's breathable and I don't end up with a super sweaty babe and heat stroke from being under it. Ugh. 

4. Ergo Baby Carrier
This one isn't technically a nursing product, but man does it make my life a million times easier when nursing! The Ergo baby carrier is our go-to for outings. It's super comfy and easily adjustable so Hubby and I can swap no problem. It's also really easy to get the baby in and out, which is a must when you have a toddler as well. But by far the most convenient aspect of the Ergo for me is that I can nurse in it. I just strap Q in and he's happy and when it's time to nurse I just loosen the strap a little and latch him on. The Ergo has a wind hood you can clip on, so I do that for some privacy and voila! No one can even tell that I'm nursing, and I am free to keep doing whatever I'm doing! It is super handy when we are out and about with Peanut, as I don't have to stop whatever we are doing to nurse. It's also awesome when we are somewhere where there are no convenient spots to nurse. I remember the first time I did this was at a hockey game with Peanut. There is nowhere in the arena to nurse, and I wasn't going to go sit in the bathroom (ick). So it was perfect! Plus, it's always a bit of a super-mom moment when you are doing all the things while nursing your kiddo. Woot! 

So, those are my faves. What are your favourite nursing products? Any awesome ones you can recommend?