Monday, July 20, 2015's Me

Whoa. So normally I kind of hate the "sorry I haven't written" type posts, but considering the fact it's been about 2 years since my last post, I suppose there should be SOME sort of catchupiness happening here. 

So. It turns out blogging when you have 2 small boys is hard, yo. I mean, I had a lot of balls to juggle, and blogging seemed like the best one to drop. Because the other two were my boys (and that isn't a good thing, I am pretty sure we can all agree), or my ever-loving mind. I have managed to escape with that one somewhat intact, though it hasn't been without a struggle. 

Depression and anxiety are not great for my creative juices. I had opened my laptop many times and stared at the blank screen with my hands ready to type and literally nothing came to mind. It was almost like someone had deleted the writing program from my brain. I have not really written much of anything for 2 whole years, and that is pretty crappy. Because I do love to write, even if it is dumb little anecdotes. 

So, here we are. 2 years later. After therapy, and group therapy and medication and many, many, many tantrums (both from the kids and from me), and tears and laughter and joy and fun and sadness. We have made it through, and are at a point where I can put them in front of the TV to watch Penguins of Madagascar (I mean, how hilarious is Dave?!) and sneak upstairs to write this. Because the days of my children needing 140% of my time and attention are gone, and now they only need about 110%. So maybe I can use that -30% to concentrate on myself for about 20 minutes until someone needs something. I mean seriously, how many times a day can you hear the words "Mom, I'm STILL hungry!!"!?!  You are tiny little humans with stomachs the size of lemons*. I mean how much can you actually fit in there for crying out loud?? 

*please note, I have no idea what the actual size of a preschooler's stomach is. 

You know what? Parenting is hard. Being a person is also sometimes very hard. It's even harder to be a parent and also a person at the exact same time. I haven't got it mastered yet, but I am getting better at it. 

I'm sure it's been hard, in my absence, to not know what my thoughts were on (trying desperately to think of parenting issues that have happened in the last 2 years...) the Royal babies, celebrity baby names and *insert hot-button parenting issue here*, but I am sure you managed somehow. And thank you to all who wrote me a note to check in and see how I was doing, and to those who requested I start to write again. I am sure you will regret your decision soon enough. 

So here is where we are at now. Peanut (Finn) is turning 4 next week. New Baby (Q) is now 2.5 and Hubby and I are still basically the same, just with a few grey hairs. Also, Kitty is still alive and well (she is still not quite right in the head, but that is her normal, and we generally love her anyway). We moved into an awesome house last year where we finally feel completely at home. Despite my terrible past as a plant serial killer, I am trying my hand at growing some fruit and veggies in our gardens and not completely failing. So far my success rate is about 60%. The plants are being lulled into a sense of safety. I am still at home with my boys, which means I basically sit on my butt all day and watch Maury Povich (is that guy still on TV? Because Oprah isn't, right?) and eat bon-bons. 

So there we have it. When written down it sort of sounds like I haven't done much these last 2 years. Which is basically true, lets be honest. Sometimes just surviving is all the busy you can handle. 

Much love to you all. I've missed you, darlings. 


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