I can't be the only one that thinks this, can I?? I mean, it's insane!
I think back to when we first had Peanut, and we were learning how to change diapers, and it was a little intimidating, but all in all we only had to remember 2 things:
1. Keep the fire hose pointed down.
2. Pull out those little ruffles if you don't want to change clothes every time you change diapers.
And getting him dressed? Easy-peasy! He pretty much just lay there, letting you do whatever you wanted to him. Sure, he might of squawked or (more likely) puked. But he was pretty much putty in our hands, doing whatever we wanted. Wearing whatever ridiculous little outfit we wanted to dress him in. Wearing puppy hats and not able to do anything about it.
My brother holding the adorabley hatted Peanut
Now, however, just trying to change a diaper is like a test of skill. It's like the Hunger Games, except instead of staying alive, you are fighting with all your might to put a diaper and an outfit on your child and keep it on for more than 30 seconds.
Just trying to get him to lay down in a relatively still position is a battle. Then it's amazing if you can manage to get the dirty diaper off without hands grabbing poop, or baby rolling over and then rolling back into the dirty diaper, thus spreading the poop all over his sort-of-clean bum and the no-longer-clean blanket/change table/floor (the last one is a very unlucky circumstance...changing him without some sort of poop-barrier between him and the floor is a rookie mistake). Once that task is over, I have to somehow manage to keep the now-naked baby from barrel rolling across the room to try and grab the only dangerous item in the vicinity and/or the unfortunate Kitty.
Ok, baby is wrangled back into the safe zone. Now we have to try and put the new diaper on. This is a difficult task, as he constantly tries to roll one way or the other, twisting his body into poses my yoga teacher would be proud of. Great for yoga class; bad for trying to fasten a diaper. And when I do manage to successfully fasten those tabs, he is on a mission to unvelcro them faster than I can blink.
Putting on the clothing is also a challenge. It's like trying to shove a slippery octopus into a sleeper. As soon as you get one limb in, the other gets free and you have to start all over again. And whoever decided to have millions of little snaps that require the talent of making sure they all line up while trying to get them snapped in a timely fashion surely never heard of an amazing little invention called the zipper. Seriously.
And no hats. Hats last about 3 seconds now. He has figured out how to very efficiently pull his hats off the second they land on his head. Our only weapon left in our arsenal (for now) is the hood. He pulls hats off by pulling them forward, so the hood still baffles him (again...for now).
So yes. Sometimes I do raise my hands over my head and cheer in victory after successfully changing Peanut. Because really, I have just outsmarted an 8 month old, and what feels better than that??
I'm Amy, and I'm a Mommy with nary a clue as to how to do this whole "parenting" thing. As a former traveler, I view this as another journey, although this time without a map, a plan or a clue! We call Canada home.