We are just playing the waiting game now for New Baby. I am 37 weeks today, which means FULL TERM. ACK!
FULL TERM. OMG.
So as I get up every day and think "will today be the day?", I am thinking more and more about what is going to happen after he arrives. It has been easy to get caught up in the whole delivery and how that is going to go, and so far that has been our focus. But I have started to think about what life is going to be like with a newborn again (and this time with a toddler as well!).
Mommy amnesia is a powerful thing. Without it, I doubt there would be as many kiddos running around! I have a hard time remembering precisely just how labour felt last time, and how the recovery was. I remember it being super painful, but beyond that I can't describe it. Similarly, in my head it feels like the newborn stage with Peanut was a breeze compared to the craziness of the toddler we are currently experiencing. In my mind I think back to the days when he was content to sit in his little bouncy chair, or be worn in the wrap. He stayed where you put him. He was happy with a couple little toys hanging in front of him, or his Sophie the giraffe to chew on. All in all, he just didn't do much. And in my head that feels like that's how it was.
But in reality, I know it was much tougher than that. If I really think about it, I remember him constantly being hungry. Which was exhausting, and for quite a few weeks was incredibly painful due to thrush. I remember every time he latched I basically yelled out in pain. I also can remember that he didn't really sleep for very long, and that those wake-ups every few hours were also exhausting, to say the least. So what I am saying is that in reality it was a lot tougher than I remember it being.
So am I going to be able to go through all of that again, and still be a good mom to Peanut? I think some things will be easier, as we have the benefit of experience. With Peanut I remember getting so frustrated and upset with nursing and feeling like I was never going to get it. But this time I have the benefit of knowledge and experience to tell me I can get through it, and to seek help if something is wrong. Hubby and I also have the benefit of knowing the drill when it comes to the whole baby thing. We won't get so upset or flustered if New Baby is crying as we know it's just part of newborn life, and we know how to effectively troubleshoot. We are confident parents now, whereas with Peanut we were scared and hesitant and had no clue what the heck we were doing.
Dude. We are having a baby.
I know that there are so many unknowns that seem like they will be impossible at the moment:
How will we love another child the way we love Peanut?
How will we cope with a new baby?
How will we deal with going back to the no-sleep newborn haze?
How will we be as parents to 2 instead of just 1?
And almost always the answer from experienced parents is: You just do.
You somehow have enough love for both.
You somehow make it through.
So I am banking on the "We just will". I know it's going to be tough, and there will probably be moments when I think "What the heck did we do?!" but that the awesome is going to far outweigh the scariness.
At least I am sure that it will be that way, right?!
My sweetness being a true Canadian: Hockey and a toque!
I'm Amy, and I'm a Mommy with nary a clue as to how to do this whole "parenting" thing. As a former traveler, I view this as another journey, although this time without a map, a plan or a clue! We call Canada home.