Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Am I Able to Do It All Again?!


We are just playing the waiting game now for New Baby. I am 37 weeks today, which means FULL TERM. ACK!

FULL TERM. OMG. 

So as I get up every day and think "will today be the day?", I am thinking more and more about what is going to happen after he arrives. It has been easy to get caught up in the whole delivery and how that is going to go, and so far that has been our focus. But I have started to think about what life is going to be like with a newborn again (and this time with a toddler as well!). 
Mommy amnesia is a powerful thing. Without it, I doubt there would be as many kiddos running around! I have a hard time remembering precisely just how labour felt last time, and how the recovery was. I remember it being super painful, but beyond that I can't describe it. Similarly, in my head it feels like the newborn stage with Peanut was a breeze compared to the craziness of the toddler we are currently experiencing. In my mind I think back to the days when he was content to sit in his little bouncy chair, or be worn in the wrap. He stayed where you put him. He was happy with a couple little toys hanging in front of him, or his Sophie the giraffe to chew on. All in all, he just didn't do much. And in my head that feels like that's how it was. 
But in reality, I know it was much tougher than that. If I really think about it, I remember him constantly being hungry. Which was exhausting, and for quite a few weeks was incredibly painful due to thrush. I remember every time he latched I basically yelled out in pain. I also can remember that he didn't really sleep for very long, and that those wake-ups every few hours were also exhausting, to say the least. So what I am saying is that in reality it was a lot tougher than I remember it being. 
So am I going to be able to go through all of that again, and still be a good mom to Peanut? I think some things will be easier, as we have the benefit of experience. With Peanut I remember getting so frustrated and upset with nursing and feeling like I was never going to get it. But this time I have the benefit of knowledge and experience to tell me I can get through it, and to seek help if something is wrong. Hubby and I also have the benefit of knowing the drill when it comes to the whole baby thing. We won't get so upset or flustered if New Baby is crying as we know it's just part of newborn life, and we know how to effectively troubleshoot. We are confident parents now, whereas with Peanut we were scared and hesitant and had no clue what the heck we were doing. 
Dude. We are having a baby. 
I know that there are so many unknowns that seem like they will be impossible at the moment: 
How will we love another child the way we love Peanut?
How will we cope with a new baby? 
How will we deal with going back to the no-sleep newborn haze?
How will we be as parents to 2 instead of just 1?

And almost always the answer from experienced parents is: You just do
You somehow have enough love for both. 
You somehow make it through. 
So I am banking on the "We just will". I know it's going to be tough, and there will probably be moments when I think "What the heck did we do?!" but that the awesome is going to far outweigh the scariness. 
At least I am sure that it will be that way, right?!
My sweetness being a true Canadian: Hockey and a toque! 
~Amy

6 comments:

  1. Funny how we forget! I think the second time around was much easier, I felt more relaxed about the things that I probably panicked over the first time around. On the flip side, things are way different, cause there will be two little's to think of not just one! Take every second that you can for yourself right now :) But your right, you 'just will' :) and it will be great!

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  2. I found the 2nd time to be so much easier! Just knowing what might happen, having experienced a baby before and all that comes those first few weeks makes a wor of difference! But know that even as I expect #4 in 5 weeks, I still get that nervous "what will this time be like" feeling. Hugs! You'll do great!!

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  3. You two are such wonderful parents that new baby is a lucky baby. It's a little scary but it will come so naturally to you, and little Finn will be a wonderful Big Brother!! M & D

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  4. Oh the waiting game! I wrote an "I feel like a ticking time bomb" post when I was 37 weeks...and 4 days later he came! You're gonna do great, it's truly amazing how easy it falls into place! Also, I have that sleeper for Braden & Ethan, I loved it - one of my faves!

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  5. Please write a blog that says it's easy so as not to scare the crap out of me. Thanks. And wishing you all well during the transition phase - you're going to be great even if it's hard to imagine or you can't see it in the poop is everywhere toddler screaming moments. You are great.

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  6. Is it time yet? Is it time yet? I am so excited for you!!! Come on baby!

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