Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Freaking-Out Land

So, this pregnancy has definitely been a new experience for me. I don’t think you can ever be prepared for it, no matter how many books you read, people you talk to, or movies you watch. After the initial excitement wore off of finding out we were going to have a baby, the reality of the situation set in. We were going to have a baby. We were going to be responsible for a human life, entirely dependent on us. For 18 years. The “holy crap” mode set in pretty quickly, and both Hubby and I started to get scared. Like really scared. What were we doing?! We would never be able to travel again! We wouldn’t be able to leave our house EVER! We couldn’t even come close to affording it. Do you SEE how much baby stuff costs? We will end up being those horrible horrible parents who everyone says they will never be! WE CAN’T DO THIS!

Of course, this mode wears off and it ends up becoming more like an ugly pimple. You mostly forget about it, but every now and then, it’s all you can think about. We have settled into acceptance mode, with some trips to Freaking-Out Land every now and then. I don’t think there is a good way of dealing with it. It’s not like your rational mind doesn’t provide answers for some of these crazy thoughts. Of course we can still travel, it will just be different than before, and of course we can leave the house. After all, there will be lots of people wanting to babysit (at least at first…). And somehow we will be able to afford this new little  one. We aren’t THAT badly off. Lifestyle adjustments will be made, and things will work out. But it doesn’t stop you from falling over the edge every once in a while. The thing that we hope for is that one of us is still thinking rationally when the other one starts freaking. Otherwise, if we are both in Freaking-Out Land, then it’s a very bad situation…

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