Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a mommy. Having children was always a given for me. I never even considered a life without them. I even had the perfect plan: I would get married at 25, have my first child at 27, second at 29, and then bam! Done by 30 and have a white picket fence and a doggie and a kitty.
Well, as you can imagine, the plan I made at 16 was probably not the course my life took. What happened instead was this:
I graduated from university and started working in a job related to my field. I dated someone for a very long time, realized it wasn’t working, and that I needed a change. Ended up booking a 40 day trip to Thailand and that was the catalyst for a huge life change for me. Sounds cheesy, but it really did change me for the better. I met a man on the trip, and although we were interested in each other, we were better off as friends. It just didn’t seem like it would work, him being around the world in paradise surrounded by hot young women in bikinis, and me here in cold Calgary working in a menial job. Anyway, once I was back in the cold, white north, I wondered why I ever left Thailand in the first place, and ended up finding a job in a beach town there. I quit both of my jobs and then flew to Thailand to work for a wonderful family. I ended up reconnecting with Mr. Right (of course!) a few months after I arrived back in paradise. One thing led to another, and we realized we were meant to be. If we wanted to have a “real” relationship and a chance at a good life together, we realized we had to do more than live the hippy lifestyle on some beach in paradise, and made the decision to move back to Canada. (whhhhhyyy???)
So, long story short, we did end up getting married, it was just not exactly according to my awesome plan. I didn’t even meet my husband until I was 26, and we just got married this year, when I was 28 (well, 1 month shy of 29 actually…). My plan of having children before I was 30 was rapidly becoming something that would never be realized. UNTIL, one fateful November morning, when I felt a little bit crampy and thought to myself “maybe I should take a pregnancy test…just in case”.
We had been married for 3 months, and while we weren’t actually trying to get pregnant, we weren’t exactly trying NOT to either. It was kind of like the last 5 minutes of a hockey game when you are down by 4 goals: you pull the goalie, but you aren’t REALLY expecting to tie the game.
I peed on the little blue stick, and then started the shower. I wasn’t even really that anxious, as I thought it would be negative for sure. This wasn’t the first time I had done this. So imagine my utter surprise when I saw a faint second line on the stick. It was definitely there. I had nothing to say really. I was home alone with Kitty (oh yes, that was one part of the plan that did come together…our gorgeous, but “special” Kitty). So the logical thing to do was yell “Kitty!! I’m pregnant!!”, after about 30 seconds of “Oh…my…God…” first. I had to wait to tell the hubby the life-altering news, so I had this massively huge secret to keep in all day at work. It was torture. I am HORRIBLE at keeping secrets. Really truly awful. But I did manage! And telling Hubby was an awesome experience, even if he may have already guessed from the suspicious way I suggested we stop in the park by my work before heading home. As if I could keep that in the whole commute home!
Anyway, I suppose my plan is sort of on track, even if it’s running a bit behind (Baby will be born 2 months before I turn 30...!). But this whole being pregnant and becoming parents is incredibly new for us. I imagine we aren’t the only ones going through a bit of shock and fumbling our way through pretending like we know exactly what we are doing. If we are, then we truly are doomed. If not, then I hope you find some comfort in knowing you aren’t the only ones!
I'm Amy, and I'm a Mommy with nary a clue as to how to do this whole "parenting" thing. As a former traveler, I view this as another journey, although this time without a map, a plan or a clue! We call Canada home.