Sunday, February 6, 2011

Our "Special" Kitty

So, as previously mentioned, our family currently consists of Hubby, me, and our Kitty (also, Peanut is on the way, but Peanut is only about the size of an avocado right now).

Let me tell you about Kitty. First off, her name is Kitty. Yes, we are that original. Trust me, thinking of names for the baby has been a nightmare so far. Although we are quite sure we won't name it "Baby".

She is a gorgeous, beautiful, adorable little cat. The only problem is she is dumb. Like REALLY dumb. She's sort of like the hot blond bimbo from high school. You know, the one that looks amazing, but as soon as she opens her mouth people moan and roll their eyes and say "Is it possible that someone can be THAT dumb?!" Yeah, that's Kitty. She makes Kelly Bundy look like Einstein.

(Yes, she is lying on a water bottle...see what I mean?!?)

We are quite sure she suffers from ADD. She changes focus every 2 seconds. And she is instantly calmed when you put a blanket over her. It's like she needs a safe place with no distractions. The second you shove her under a blanket she starts purring and gets all comfy-like. And she loves boxes. My parents were looking after her when Hubby and I went on our mini-honeymoon to Seattle. I got email updates from my mom. At the beginning they were similar to this:

Mom: Your cat hasn't moved from under the couch since you brought her over. I think she is eating, but it is hard to tell, since she just hides under there the whole day. We also don't see her at night, so it's possible she is under there all night as well. Poor Kitty :(

Then one day things turned around. Do you know how? My mom "brought her a box". Which means she went downstairs to the crawl space, pulled out some crappy old box that was sitting there for months, if not years, and put it down in the middle of the living room floor in front of the television, then went about her business. Sure enough, within seconds Kitty was in the box, purring. Dumb cat.

She is also fascinated with water. Not her drinking water, but any water that she should not have. Like the water in my cup that I am drinking from. She should not have that. But she wants it desperately. Or the water that comes out of the bathroom tap.

She sits in the bathtub staring up at the faucet like it is some type of deity which will spew forth manna and honey from it's mouth if you are devoted enough. It's like Linus waiting for the Great Pumpkin. It's just sad. When I do turn on the tap for a bath, she quickly becomes fascinated with the bath water and her life goal is to drink it. Never mind that it is usually full of soapy bubbles and gross human dirt. She goes to great lengths to drink it, no matter what obstacle is thrown in her way. Me splashing gallons of water in her face until she is dripping wet? No problem! Occasionally slipping into the water because she is bent over the edge at impossible angles? Shake it off and resume the mission! When she does actually manage to get a mouthful, despite my  best efforts, she usually hates it, jumps off the tub, shakes her paws and gives a look that says "How DARE you think I would drink such crappy water!". Does this stop her from doing it all over again the next time I run a bath. No. No it doesn't.

So that is my Kitty. I felt I should give you fair warning and background on her, just in case when I mention her it sounds like she is normal or something. Because she definitely isn't.

It would be interesting to start a support group for owners of dumb pets. Anyone else have ridiculous animal stories?

1 comment:

  1. I know this is an oldie, but it was so funny I had to give you props :P


Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! They make my day!


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...